A Bird in the Shrub or Life With George II

commencing countdown engines on.....9....8......7.......

take your protein pills and put your helmet on ......5.....4

check ignition and may god's love be with you... 2......1.....

lift off


"I'm the commander--see, I don't have to explain -- I don't need to explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being the President. Maybe somebody needs to explain to me why they say something, but I don't feel like I owe anybody an explanation." (George W. -- Washington Post, 11-19-2002)

"I am a war president" (Dubya , Tim Russert interview on "Meet the Press" Feb. 8, 2004)

Stay tuned fer our next wet and wild installment of "Advice for the marginally damned and those who do their laundry"

and now a glimpse at the top stories on World News tonight:

From Russia-----Does Tiev Ski ? Our crack reporter will attempt to answer this and other fascinating questions

In national news: Dammed Cells in Distress, should they be saved?

and..... we're back with more "Downhome Sayins We All Know and Love™"

"There's an old...saying in Tennessee...I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee that says Fool me once...(3 second pause)... Shame on...(4 second pause)...Shame on you....(6 second pause)...Fool me...Can't get fooled again." --George W. Bush to Nashville, Tennessee audience, Sept. 17, 2002, MSNBC-TV --Politex, Sept. 17, 2002, 10 PM

That's right folks George II our great and patriotic leader he know them sayins real good. That boy a sharp one let me tell you, an good lookin too. Well, we knows how much y'all enjoys hearin those ol heartwarmin sayins from back home and we aim to please. And for your listenin please we have compiled an enomous see-lection of the best sayins of all time. Some them you ain't heard in years and was wonderin where'd they go. We used experts to smoke these sayins out of their holes and rescue them from the dustpiles of eternity....just for y'all. Now sit back an listen.............

"He who hesitates is....well he's the sorta critter't ain't sure a hisself soze he get's all a fluster and purty soon that boy feels doggone licked. Sos he ain't wuth a plug cent no mo."

How bout that? Hee go anutha one:

Murphie's Law: "If it can happen...the maybe happening is what its all about an it just so happens that it might not happen but then again one day, and maybe when you least suspect it just goina happen and you caint stop it no way...............

Come on, let me hear Hail to the...

Disclaimer: We recognize that our great and mighty President occasionally uses poetic license with the "Ol time Tennessee Sayins ™" But we sincerely and humbly believe that any minor changes do not in any way detract from their beautiful essence. --Signed:His humble servants

and now more "Ol Time Tennessee Sayins™" to treasure for all time.........

"The proof is in the....lord., you folks ain got nuff proof yit? Look't Guantanamo Bay. There's yer proof. Keep on now and you'll git all the proof you needs and more'n you can handle. I promise you. Stop askin me about WMD's an chemical weapons searches. I seen em in Saddam's eyes and we got im. Proof you want? I am the proof. I'm the proof President. I am the proof and the way......"

(the followers sing a fine fendition of: "Praise Him, Praise our mighty leader for He hath spoken")

Welcome back. you know it always seems that jes when you lease suspect it heah comes mo of those "Ol Time Texas Sayins Y'all Know and Love™." Yessir. And let us thank George, our great and honorable commander, fer remindin us.....

How could we have forgotten these?:

"To err is human...but sometimes we humanlike folk we makes mistakes and not only that we can do other things too...because we are human."

"Cleanliness is next to....well sho aint Dick Cheney I'll tell you! Jes try and stand next to that feller in a reception line for half an hour. Laura an I gave him soap-on-a-rope for Christmas , but I don't believe he took the hint. Listen,we might have to adopt a bathing requirement for cabinet members...."

"There's more'n one way to .....steal an election . Haw haw haw...."

Golly Mr President, you's a natural wonder. What a formidable mind must it be that has stored this treasury of ol timey sayins that we all love. here's what the man hisself had to say on that subject:

"As certain as I aim to free the world of terrrorists and tyranny, I aim to pass along to posterity the ageless sayins of our great state of Texas, and maybe Virginia too. Even non-Texans will enjoy these if they has any sense. Thems all good ol sayins ats been passed on through many generations to land square in your....on your....near you. Y'all know what I mean. The combined wisdom of our heritage lies in these timeless words. Now you can read them , if'n you can read, or have someone to read em for you like I do."

Look out, hee go a hot one: "A bird in the hand is wuth....

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